Stop Blogging and Cook

Clarence Lee from Tennessee
Loved the commercials he saw on TV.
He watched with wide believing eyes
And bought everything they advertised –
Cream to make his skin feel better
Spray to make his hair look wetter
Bleach to make his white things whiter
Stylish jeans that fit much tighter.
Toothpaste for his cavities,
Powder for his doggie’s fleas,
Purple mouthwash for his breath,
Deodorant to stop his sweat.
He bought each cereal they presented,
Bought each game that they invented.
Then one day he looked and saw
‘A brand-new Maw, a better Paw!
New, improved in every way –
Hurry, order yours today!’
So, of course, our little Clarence
Sent off for two brand-new parents.
The new ones cam in the morning mail,
The old ones he sold at a garage sale.
And now they all are doing fine:
His new folks treat him sweet and kind,
His old ones work in an old coal mine.
So if your Maw and Paw are mean,
And make you eat your lima beans
And make you wash and make you wait
And never let you stay up late
And scream and scold and preach and pout,
That simply means they’re wearing out.
So send off for two brand-new parents
And you’ll be happy as little Clarence.
~ © Shel Silverstein (1930-1999) Clarence, from A Light in the Attic (1981)

Today’s Six Word Saturday comes from the pulpit, read by a minister way back when to illustrate a point about children’s vulnerabilities.  It is humorous, but has more than a grain of truth in the idea that there is virtually no end to what marketers can – and do – sell your impressionable kids.  Taking the argument to the not-so-ridiculous extreme they can even be sold replacement parents, which puts you and your preferences out on the figurative street.

If you don’t want to be relegated to an old virtual coal mine to which the poet chillingly refers, it is necessary to take back the money.  Money is what the marketers are after, and they don’t care how they get it.  But you should, because, after all, it’s your hard-earned dollars that those chubby little hands are reaching into your pockets to grab.  Of course you would never agree to be replaced as were Clarence’s parents, as ridiculous as that sounds, but by the same token we must be vigilant against allowing children to have their way with us.  It is on small, daily  battlegrounds that the war of marketing wills is won.

As they whine and cry and fuss and moan for the latest gleam in advertisers’ eyes, borrow a phrase from First Lady Nancy Regan and just say, ‘No’.  I know it is a wild concept, but think about it for a minute.  Certainly there are things that you would always refuse your children, aren’t there?  Allowing them to hitchhike to St Louis, for example, or crack cocaine just once a year.

Children need boundaries, like sidewalks that buffer them from the street or car seats that keep them secure in a fast-moving vehicle.  Boundaries protect children, and provide them with the comfort of knowing they are protected.  Some things are non-negotiable.

The more ridiculous the request, the easier it is to say “Certainly not!” and move on.  We don’t think twice about not allowing matches to capture their imaginations, or letting them take the car out for a spin to help them blow off steam.  Most parents would not even condone freedom from the drudgery of teeth-brushing or the boredom of nightly bed-time, even during the school-free summertime.

DON’T SELL TO MY CHILD
So why is it so hard to refuse them the emptiness of sugary breakfast cereal, or compressed chicken-flavored nuggets loaded with chemicals?  A child put into a grocery cart is a captive audience.  They will go where you take them, chauffeured through the supermarket.  But is the goal to stock the kitchen or to stroll through the aisles picking up each cereal they present or every toy they invent?  So don’t go down the cereal aisle or the soda aisle.  They can’t pester you for that which they don’t see.

Stop by the store on the way to work to gather the few things from the cereal or bakery aisle that you choose for your family without the drama of marketing jingles jangling in young minds.  Kids are gullible and, like the marketers themselves, cannot be trusted to make sound economic decisions for adult consumers.  Children lack the maturity to separate wisdom from persuasion.  You, the more mature consumer, have developed the intelligence to discern which choices make the most sense to insure the greatest good for your hard-earned dollars.

Exercise that wisdom, and the muscle to say, ‘No’ will strengthen with use.  Commit Mr Silverstein’s poetry to memory and recite it to your children – they are so easily distracted and delighted by rhymes – when they begin to whine and fuss for something that is not on the shopping list.  The phrase:

If I give you everything you want, then pretty soon you’ll think you can trade me in for a new parent, and we can’t have that!

can be used with brilliant success.

Children struggle to understand adult logic, as if it’s a puzzle they can figure out.  Give them something to ponder.  And then pile into the kitchen and whip up a taco party.

CHECK THIS OUT
Who can argue with a website called Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood?   See how you can protect the littlest among us from those in the trench coats on Madison Avenue.  Every time you say ‘No,’ a parent smiles.

Tags: food activism, good for you food, healthy choices